jokes

Barack Obama was sitting in his office wondring whom to invalo next when his telephone rang. Hello Mr. Obama a heavily accented voice said ,”this is Gurumuph from Fagwara district Kapurthala punjab I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you”

          Well Gurumukh obama replied,” this is indeed important news how big is your army right now .’said Gurumukh after a moments calculation,’ There is my self my cousin sukhdev. My next door neighbor Bhagat and the entire kabaddi team from the Gurudwara. That makes eight.’

          Obama paused ,‘must tell you gurumukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command. “‘Arrey o man kya ‘”said Gurumukh,’ I will have to ring you back sure enough,: The next day Gurumukh called again ,”Mr. Obama it is Gurumukh I am calling from Phagwara std.The war is still on we have managed to aquire some infantry equipment.” And what equipment would to be that Gurumukh ,”Obama asked. “ Well we have two combines a donkey and mricks Tractor,” Obama sighed ,”I must tell you that I have 16000 tanks and 14000 armoured personnel carriers also I have increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke. “

          “Oh teri ,said Gurumukh,” I will have to get back to you ,” “sure enough” Gurumukh rang again the next day. “Mr. obama the war is still on we have managed to get outselve air borne. We have modified Amriks Tractor by adding a couple of shotguns sticking on same wings and the pind’s generator four sehool pass boys from Malpur have joined us as a well “

          Obama was silent for a munute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you Gurumukh that I have 10000 bombers and 20000 fighter plane my military completly surrounded by laser guided surface to air missile and scince we last spoke I have increased my army to two million ‘ “o tera bhalla hoy,” said Gurumukh,” I have to ring you back sure enough “Gurumukh called again the next day.

          “Mr. Obama I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call of the war. “

“I am sorry to hear that ,”said Obama,” why the sudden change of heart”.

          “Well”, said Gurumukh ,” we have all had a long chat over a couple of lassi’S and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars.”Now that is called punjab confidence.

whatsapp se

Teen Importent notification

A man who eats chicken fry his own poultry is actually a vegetarian because ghar ki murgi dal barabar

Tooth brush kitney arsey bad retire kiya jata hai

chinese I week

British 1 month

USA 3 month

India main tooth brush kabhi retire nahi hota

Wo  kaisey

India me tooth brush sab pahle dant saf djus ds dke vkrk gS vkSj tc dyj djus ds dke mlds ckn e”khu dh lQkbZ ds dke vkrk gS vkSj tc cqz”k ds cky fxj tkrs gSa rks iktkesa esa ukjk Mkyus ds dke vkrk gS

In train a women slept at santa”s son”s place and refused to get up santa went to TC and complained]^ this lady is not giving birth to my child*

I told my parents I want a blackberry or apple they replied ghar main singhade pade gS igys oks [kRe dj

sitaji ke vanvas jane main bahut badi seekh hai woh wah

sita ji k ...............................

Ghar mein 3-3 sass ho to jungle hi theek hai

Arz  hai roz roz weight napkar kya karna hai ek din to sabne marna hai

Char din ke hai zindagi kha lo jee bhar ke

agle janam to phir 3 kila se hi start karna hai

करवा चौथ

y{eh dk okgu ¼mYyw½ muls :B x;k vkSj cksyk

vkidh lc iwtk djrs gSa eq>s dksbZ ugh iwtrk

y{eh th cksyh  vc ls gj lky esjh iwtk ls 11 fnu igys rqEgkjh iwtk gksxhA

ml fnu mYyw iwtk tk;sxkA

rc ls fnokyhs ls Bhd 11 fnu igys djok¡ pkSFk euk;s tkus yxkA

where we go

A clerk checking over an applicants paper was amazed to note the figures 127 and 123 in the spaces reserved for age of father if living and age of mother if living
Surely ,said the surprised clerk ,"Your parents  aren't  that old ?"
"nope , was the answer but they would be if living


A mans life sighed job is  30 year of having his mother asking him where he is going 40 years of having his wife ask the same question and  at the end the mourners are wondering too .

seller

A youngster walked into the bank to open an account with$50.00 The teller smiled and asked him how he had been able to accumulate so much money
selling magazine subscription said the boy
you have done very well lots of people must have bought them
nope ,Answered the boy proudly "only one family - but their dog bit me 

jokes

The bridge tournament was in a high gear when suddenly a player tossed down his cards muttering "this game is crooked" 

"that is terrible accusation" whispered his partner ," what makes you think so " 

"That guy " the fellow said porting to the player on his left is not playing the hand i deal him "

the maid  rushed into the room and cried 'hurry madam your husband is lying unconscious  in the hall beside a large round box with a piece of paper clutched in his hands 

How exciting " the lady of the house answered 'My  fur coat has come '